A Butterfly Kissed Me

I don’t mean that you need to run away
It’s just that
I feel suffocated sometimes
By the way you present this all to me
With a smile and hug
With bells and whistles
The way you look at me
And take notice of the shape of my nose
The way you trace your fingers down my spine
To sooth me
After we fuck
The way you change from a brute
To everything good in the world
I just don’t know how to love you yet
The way you do to me
I don’t know how to press my lips to yours
And make you feel the same things
That you make me feel

I am not trying hard enough
Not because I don’t want to
If I could
Get past all of this
I would
But it seems futile
At times
And I wish it were easy
To share these things
But the moments come
And screech noises in my ear
And make it impossible
For me to hear you saying
Wonderful things in your voice
That is
Soft and sensible
And takes its time to curve its lips around

I don’t know
If or when
Or how much
I can try
But I want to
Just not right now


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